The definition of a sexy photo (part I of II)

As a boudoir photographer, I am constantly faced with the question of, “What makes a photo sexy?” It’s not that people are constantly asking me that exact question, but I have to answer that for myself every time consult with a client, every time I go into a shoot and take a photo, and every time I cull through images after my sessions.

The Difference Between beautifully sexy and distastefully sexy

I would say that the answer to this question is very subjective and depends on the person answering it, and I think that those who would agree with my definition of a sexy photo are the ones that end up becoming my clients. In my opinion, there’s a huge difference between beautifully sexy and distastefully sexy, and I definitely prefer the former. I am in the business of making women feel more beautiful than they felt when they walked into my studio; making her feel comfortable, confident, empowered, and gorgeous. So you ask, “What’s the difference, sexy is sexy, no?” Here is what I think makes a photo beautifully, tastefully sexy.

What to Reveal (and when) can define a sexy photo

Revealing something, but not everything; I think one of the sexiest things a woman can do is to leave something to the imagination. In other words, if she’s going to show off her chest cleavage, she should keep everything else more subdued and keep the viewer’s eye on her chest. If she’s looking to showcase her backside, she should keep the front side a bit more covered so she’s not showing off both simultaneously.

If she’s going to show everything off at once, then the viewer's eye is not going to know where to look first and may become overwhelmed, leading them to look away. Then the photo may be regarded as distastefully sexy (or even smut) instead of beautifully sexy. That’s the last thing I want, and I’m sure the last thing my client is going for.

“What about nudes?” you ask. 

There is implied nude and full nude. Implied nude can mean topless but still covered by shadows, body parts, or other objects such as plants or pillows. A woman can be nude, but still covered, and that is a beautiful way to leave something to the imagination. A full nude can also be extremely tasteful, and eye contact, body language, and environment have so much impact on how she will be portrayed. More on that in the next sections!

Eye Contact Makes a Photo Sexy

Eye contact can be extremely powerful and sexy when done correctly. Some eye contact can scream sadness; some eye contact can scream confidence. We want the one that screams confidence. In my experience, whatever is on my client’s mind is going to be spoken through her eyes. That is one of the main reasons I like to have hair and makeup done right here in my studio or wherever we will be shooting.

Many times, I have not met my client in person before our session. We may have talked over the phone, or even just through email, but I haven’t had a chance to observe her body language yet. The time we spend together and the conversation we have while the stylist gets her ready plays an integral part in making her feel comfortable and excited for our session. The more beautiful and confident she feels, the better the eye contact throughout the session. If she’s coming into my studio straight from work or taking care of her children, there’s a good chance her eye contact will convey stress and uncertainty. Stress will subconsciously show up first in facial expressions and body language, and that is the last thing either of us wants. Having to shift titles and/or responsibilities so quickly before a session doesn’t do much for making somebody feel sexy and self-assured. This is the main reason I like to have sessions first thing in the morning, on a day off from work, so my client can relax and enjoy her time without having anywhere to be and any stresses from earlier on.

Body language! Body language says it all.

Many clients biggest concerns revolve around posing. Many of them assume they will have to know how to pose coming into our session and that I’ll be leaving it up to them to move in the right way. That’s not the case at all, and I’m fully aware that they are not inherently a model.

When a client finishes up with hair and makeup, we go over outfits, and then we discuss the basic posing pointers she will be hearing from me throughout the session. Some of the most common are, in no specific order, “Chest out, shoulders back, bring your chin to your shoulder, point one knee into the other, soften your hands, twist your wrist, butt up in the air” etc.

The message her body is giving

All of these tiny nuances make a huge difference in what message her body is giving. Stiffened hands and fingers show stress and uncertainty, so I tell them ahead of time that it’s always best to give their hands a job so that they have a somewhere to naturally fall. “Hold your waist, the fabric of your shirt, slide your fingers through the side of your underwear, slide your bra strap down, and whatever you do with that hand don’t do the same with the other; try to keep your hands and body asymmetrical to create angles.” Viewers’ eyes are most often drawn to where the hands fall, which is important to keep in mind while posing.

Another pointer a client may hear from me is, “Wherever your chin goes, your eyes should follow, and vice versa.” This is very important when thinking about posing your face, which honestly, I think is the most difficult body part to pose; the mouth, most of all, which I will cover in the next section. All essential things to pay attention to. Body language can mean the difference between my client showing strength, confidence, and warmth vs. weakness, uncertainty and dispassion; it can also be a significant distinction between what makes a photo tastefully sexy vs. the opposite.

I have much more to say about this topic but don’t want to keep you glued to your computer all day. So check out my next blog post for more information about how to take a sexy boudoir photo! And in the meantime, check out my website gallery and IG page at Kimkelleyboudoir to see more of what I’m talking about!