So, you know we had an experience with jogging a few months back. If you DON’T know, well my goodness, you really should check this out.
It was not something I’d care to repeat, and so I’ve been trying to jog alone, since thankfully, they are back in school. But these girls like to exercise! And as someone who once ran an obesity clinic for children, I will definitely encourage any kind of exercise they’d like to partake in!
We were outside in the garage, doing what we always do. That is, they were pulling crap out of every cabinet and discarding it after 4 minutes to get into something else, throw that on the floor, and continue to pile stuff on top of stuff. And I, doing what I do best, was yelling at them to clean up after themselves (as I’m cleaning up after them) and threatening to hold a garage sale right here and now as it’s perfect timing with all this sh*t out of the cabinets and we should get rid of it while we can.
That freaks them out. How could I even think about giving away ladybug rain boots, size 1? (not familiar with kid sizes? A size 1 would basically fit the ladybug) Or a bug cage (why do we even own a bug cage? Make that 2 bug cages…each girl has one) that is so rusty I want to give them a TB shot just for looking at it. So I keep putting things away, back into the cabinets, kicking myself for not doing this alone when they couldn’t protest that I’m throwing away buckets of broken seashells.
Then they find my pilates mat. Which I bought by accident, thinking it was a yoga mat, so I never use it. Who knew a pilates mat was shorter? And now who’s the one refusing to throw stuff out? That find prompts them to do some indoor searching for my actual yoga mat. Then the idea to DO yoga on the driveway sets in and they run with it. They get their mats, they get water bottles from the fridge, there is talk about changing clothes but the excitement to get started immediately is too much so they stay dressed as is. They want me to put them through the moves. But the pressure gets to me. I can’t remember anything. Of course I could have thought of poses 10 minutes ago, before the “class” started and the pressure mounted, but now all I can think of is downward dog and the damn flying pigeon that eludes me in my own practice.
Not good enough. Harper takes off and is back in milliseconds with the iPad, (which Harper believes is the cure for all woes), and finds a streaming yoga class that she and Payton can attend.
The moves begin.
The old neck stretch…. up and back, up and back…..
Stretching is good.
Stretching on the driveway, by the car, as instructed by the iPad below?
Well that is always better.
Until your sister starts messing with you, and tries to correct your form, which you’d rather not have corrected, thank you very much.
Here we start to fall apart, and I think they start questioning if they’ve really been doing yoga. As am I.
It seems they have been following along with an old lady stretching routine. Only a small step above exercising in a chair.
So they fall back on the only pose they know, and one that they have perfected.
The child pose.
I tell them this is a great stretch and would be best to hold it for 20 minutes.
13 seconds later they are up and looking for something else to do. Leaving the yoga mats and the iPad where they are, of course.