Isn’t it wild we live in a society where we have to learn to love our bodies and body acceptance is a “thing”? I wonder when I learned to un-love mine. Do you know when you did? I think it’s gradual, like most things in life. The combination of body shaming in the media and listening to female family members complain about their weight forms the false conclusion for us as kids that some bodies are better than others.

How Self Acceptance Starts

I remember being in the backseat of my parents car; it must have been July or August because the summer was in full swing. I can still feel it, the ping in my chest when I looked down to see my thighs squished against the dark grey leather seat. I couldn’t have been more than twelve years old, and I don’t think I thought much of it, I didn’t suddenly hate my body; however, I do remember thinking “hmm my thighs look bigger when I’m sitting”. It was the first time I saw my legs as anything other than a mode of transportation.

An article I read the other day commented that 80% of ten-year-old girls have been on a diet.

I wish I could shake my little self. If there were only a way I could tell her how perfect she is. How strong she is. How those thighs made her a track and field runner, a figure skater, a leapfrogger on the playground. That was just the beginning of collecting the parts of my body that could “be better”.

High school came with the crave for love and acceptance teenagers experience so strongly. I believed I had to look a certain way to receive that acceptance and love. I think many girls felt the same. And restrictive eating, although not as well known back then, was certainly something most of us did. Body acceptance, not only from others, but from myself, became an issue.

Let’s Stop “Fixing” Ourselves

We viewed our bodies back then as projects, things that needed “fixing”. I’m sure at some point you decide you need fixing too.

I must say, it is so easy to passively do anything, especially the negative. Once I entered my thirties though I decided I didn’t want to live hating these physical aspects of myself. I actively worked on body acceptance.

Like unlearning to love my body, learning to love it is gradual.

Just as the voices I heard and content I consumed taught me to hate parts of myself, I had to consume the opposite.

I made myself look in a mirror and list parts of myself I loved. It took energy and was a practice, like anything new in life. If there was an outfit I felt confident in, I wore it. Again and again. I took note of those moments I felt beautiful and recreated them. From outfits, to hairstyles, to who I followed on Instagram, I became acutely aware of what made me feel good in my skin.

It feels tedious, doesn’t it? Undoing those years of finding what’s wrong with your body. I’m right there with you. Every woman is right there with you. Loving our bodies takes work because unfortunately, the world is telling us not to.

Just as I don’t remember a moment where I decided this body is one worth hating, I don’t remember deciding it was worth loving: it just was.

I remember brushing my teeth in my underwear before bed one night and casually thinking I looked hot. It felt easy, and it sounds silly writing that. But, I remember the little voice in my head speaking so kindly about myself. I remember the surprise of that moment, I revelled in it. It actually inspired me to go back to my room and put on my favorite bra and underwear. I soaked in this moment of not seeing flaws and feeling peace and excitement in and for my body.

Little moments like that still catch me off guard. Those moments where I reflect on how far I’ve come. As I sit here writing this though, I don’t fully understand how I learned to love my body. I think it’s better described as unlearning the hate.

Body Acceptance For Our Girls

Many women think they have to be at that last mirror part of this story to do a boudoir shoot. Some women are. Some women use this experience as a celebration of loving their body. But, you don’t have to be quite there yet. I offer you this possibility as well- that this photo-shoot could be a step towards being there, towards being the woman who sees no fixing to be done. There is no fixing to be done.

Whether or not you do a boudoir shoot, I hope you unlearn the hate; I hope all women unlearn the hate.

Above all, I hope eventually we don’t have to learn to love our bodies and that it’s just something we don’t let young girls lose along the way.

-Book your own session!-

black woman in black lingerie
smiling woman with black lingerie
black woman in black bra leaning into bed
B&W boudoir photo woman leaning into bed close up
boudoir on bed with legs crossed
close up boudoir photo on bed leaning on hand
boudoir on bed on back holding bra
close up boudoir in yellow bra
close up with no bra covering breasts with arm

If you are ready for your own boudoir session, or just ready to start learning about what a session would look like, I’m here for you. 🙂

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